Copyright Freya Hill

Title: Contributing Writer

Publication: Sick Chirpse A light hearted, humour led online magazine

In January 2012 I was published with SickChirpse.com, specifically providing narrative lifestyle pieces. Below are two snippets from my work:

CYCLING ETIQUETTE

“Hands up, I’m not a ‘proper’ cyclist.

Evidence of this? I have never purchased a pair of Compression Elite Tights to ensure sweat free, aerodynamic cycling. I have heard of the word ‘crank’ but admittedly I have no idea what a crank does, and unforgivably, I couldn’t tell you what bike I actually ride. Carrera, Apollo, Boardman? I hate to say it but I only know these names because I just had a brief biking encounter with Google. If ‘Mountain’ is acceptable, I will go with that.”

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A FREAKY FRIENDSHIP

“My friend freaked me out two weeks ago. I’ll explain the situation.

It was a Thursday night and we were meeting up for our weekly cook off (in a Come Dine With Me fashion, insults and all).

I was in her kitchen and it was her turn to magic up something truly delicious. The work surface was cluttered with bowls of flour, wooden spoons and a freshly opened packet of butter, evidence that she was putting in some well needed effort to beat her previous week’s grade of a 7. (Yes, we grade.) But there was something lurking in the corner of her kitchen that didn’t quite fit in to place. For the time being I chose to ignore it and offered a helping hand by washing up.

As the night progressed I couldn’t help but notice this strange thing in the corner of her kitchen staring at me. It didn’t match anything in the room, it hadn’t been used in any of our cooking that night and we were certainly not about to eat it for dinner.

After 45 minutes of wary observation I plucked up the courage to ask what the thing under the tea towel was.

“Aha! Well that’s Herman!” my friend replied, bursting with excitement.

“Herman?” I queried back with a ‘I don’t believer you’ tone of voice. “As in Herman the man’s name?”

She wiped her hands across her apron and laughed.

“Yes, as in Herman the man’s name. It’s this thing I’m doing that started from work,” she began, clearly preparing herself for some kind of epic speech.

I stared at her in disbelief.

“It’s cookery friendship!” she exclaimed, bringing the tea towel covered object to the forefront of the side.

“What?” I retorted, totally not following what she was on about.

I leant forward and peered through the glass bowl that was covered by a tea towel. Whatever was inside looked disgusting. It also looked alive…..”

Please email me if you are interested in reading the full article or for further examples of my lifestyle writing. My email address can be found under the ‘Contact’ section of my website.